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The Family Tree of Unforgiveness

God's Kindness Quest Series

Unforgiveness is born out of heart wounds on this earth

It has many children to which it gives birth 

 

One child of unforgiveness is anger

Birthed by interaction with a familiar face or a stranger

 

Another child of unforgiveness is bitterness

Pain churns in the heart, culminating in callousness 

 

Another child of unforgiveness is judgement

It’s my courtroom; I’m the judge and jury, rendering punishment 

 

Another child of unforgiveness is vengeance

I’ll get even, plotting every detail of their painful sentence

 

Another child of unforgiveness is resentment

Peace and joy take a back seat to brewing discontentment

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Another child of unforgiveness is hate

Perpetuated by recounting reasons to be irate 

 

Vengeance, judgement, anger, and unforgiveness

Resentment and hate, all produce bitterness

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I know unforgiveness and its children need to be evicted

Perhaps, after people are punished for the pain they inflicted

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God interrupts, I’ve been listening to you day and night

Let’s see if I got this right

 

On judgement day, you want mercy when it comes your turn

But for those you judge, a sentence to burn

 

A hardened heart restricts the love you can receive or give

Give yourself a precious gift, forgive

 

Release the pain, anger, bitterness, resentment and hate

In exchange, receive grace and love; it’s not too late

 

You're safe here with me; time for healing tears

Allow heavenly comfort to obliterate the anguish and fears

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Focusing on unforgiveness has blinded you to see

The amazing path to everything you can be

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Give me your judge's robe, gavel, evidence, and verdicts

Knowing your Heavenly Father's justice is perfect

 

I surrendered it all, trusting God; now I am free

Finally uprooted unforgiveness and its family tree

Interactive Questions

Jeremiah 33:3 (NIV), "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

  • What emotions, memories, thoughts, convictions, or inspirations bubbled up while reading the poem?

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  • Father God, what do you want me to know about my answers to the previous question? 

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  • Who would you attempt to avoid if you saw them in public? Why?

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  • Who have you shunned; blocked their communication; ignored their phone calls or texts; or unfriended them on social media? Why?

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  • Anger immediately arises when you think of the following people: 

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  • Thinking of each person listed in the previous three questions, in what ways have you judged them or harbored unforgiveness? ​

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  • Lord, minister truth and your insights to me about each interaction with those individuals.

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  • What insurance companies, cable or cell phone providers, retailers, financial institutions, medical facilities, contractors, telemarketers, other businesses, employers, or faith-based organizations have you badmouthed, or vowed never to do business with again?

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  • ​Thinking of each entity, in what ways have you judged them or harbored unforgiveness?  ​​

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  • Lord, minister truth and your insights to me about each interaction with those entities.

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  • Who have you judged as unworthy of forgiveness? Why? 

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  • Who:

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  • Why:

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  • Lord, what do you want me to know about my verdict?

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  • In what situation have you judged yourself as unworthy of forgiveness? Why?

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  • Situation:

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  • Why:

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  • Lord, what do you want me to know about my verdict?

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  • Lord, I give you my judge's robe, gavel, evidence, and verdicts.  What do you have for me instead? 

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  • Father God, is there anything else you want to share with me at this moment?

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Prayer

James 5:16 (NLT),  "... The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.​"

Lord, this a tough one for me. Asking me to forgive seems unfair. Don't they deserve judgement and consequences for what they did? Where is justice for me? The wounds run deep.

 

Despite my feelings, Scripture instructs me to let it all go. You promise, in my weakness, you are strong. In faith, I give you the festering pain and all the repercussions of what they did. I release to you the bitterness, resentment, hatred, rage and disdain towards them. I let go of the need for revenge and justice.

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I repent of rehearsing the pain for so long and for responding with a hardened heart. Forgive me for heart attitudes and actions which have reinforced and justified unforgiveness. Thank you for repeatedly extending mercy and forgiveness when I didn’t deserve it. I choose to follow your example and forgive them. Forgive me for not forgiving them long ago and for rebelling against your repeated instruction to release it sooner. I leave the courtroom of bondage, discarding all legal briefs and closing arguments.  

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Speak to me, your child, about all this and share with me your perspective. Father God, I ask that your presence overwhelm me now and soften my heart. I give you the cried and suppressed tears. Mend my tattered heart and restore broken trust.

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Cleanse my mind and body of the trauma and ill effects of harboring unforgiveness. Cancel all negative sowing and reaping. Restore relationships, which have deteriorated because of my hardened heart. 

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Fill me with peace and joy. Help me move forward into the fullness you desire, seeing relationships and life from your viewpoint. Thank you for your faithfulness and for empowering me to do this hard thing. Father, teach me how to love imperfect people, including myself, the way you love us all. Amen.

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  • Lord, what did this prayer activate in accordance with James 5:16?

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  • ​Tweak the existing prayer as desired or craft a new personalized one.

Scripture

2 Timothy 3:16 (NLT), "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true ..."

Luke 6:37 (NLT)

“'Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.'”

 

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT)

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

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  • List meaningful Bible verses which come to mind regarding this poem, the interactive questions, and prayer.

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