* Defining Moments series *

This series demonstrates God's love and grace, despite our precarious missteps

Oops ... Wrong Attire

Have you ever arrived at a wedding, party, or other gathering and realized you were over or underdressed? Did you leave, hoping no one noticed? Perhaps you laughed and rolled with it. Or was your comfort level based on how other attendees and the host reacted? In that moment, most of us wouldn’t think to ask God what he thought of our clothing choice and the situation. The following true story indicates he might care about our dilemma more than we think.

Today’s plan, meet a new friend, Donna, at Huntington Beach State Park and walk the beach. Traffic is flowing better than usual on Highway 17 Bypass South in sunny Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I should arrive at the scheduled time.

Donna is a deeply committed and seasoned Christian. I recently purchased a Bible and began attending church for the first time as an adult. Like a two-year-old with endless questions and curiosity, I am taking baby steps toward developing a personal relationship with God. Donna offers wisdom, points me in the right direction, and challenges me to search for answers. What life-changing nuggets will God reveal as we stroll the beach later today? Then, a random thought surfaced, "Why do I wear a suit to church"? I pondered where that unexpected and odd inquiry originated. Is God inviting me to interact with him? Perhaps it’s my thought, or a spirit of darkness? A wave of inner peace reassures me God is initiating dialog. After a pause, the following conversation unfolds.

• BK, why do you wear a suit to church?

• Lord, I thought it was a requirement, a sign of showing honor and respect to you.

• BK, do you like wearing a suit and tie?

• No Lord, I’ve never enjoyed dressing up. I’m a shorts and t-shirt kind of guy.

• BK, did I ask you to wear a suit and tie?

• No Lord.

• BK, I just want to spend time with you, no matter where you are or what you do. Relax, I’m very personal. Come to church in shorts and a t-shirt if that is what you are most comfortable wearing. I want you to focus on our relationship, undistracted by societal traditions.

• Wow, Lord, that is an enormous relief!

• BK, go home. Get your suit and take it to the church.

• Lord, I don’t think anyone will be at the church now?

The conversation stopped. I sensed an urgency to heed God’s words. But what about meeting my new friend at Huntington Beach State Park? I’m already on my way and she is as well. What if she thinks this sounds misguided? Yet, the drawing is very strong to obey God. I call Donna and explain. She reaffirms God communicates with us and encourages me to do what I believe he is instructing. We cancel our plans and I make a u-turn. At home, as I remove the suit from the closet, another inner prompting arises.

• BK, give away everything you wear with the suit, including the shirt, tie, belt, and dress shoes.

• But Lord, that’s my only suit, dress shirt, tie, belt, and dress shoes.

There is silence. I drive to the closed church and leave all the items hanging on the exterior door with a one word note, “free”. As I drive away, God ushers in a deep inner peace and joy.

Since that day, I’ve worn casual clothes for church services. Occasionally, God prompts me to upgrade my attire for special situations. At face value, it seems God has two main points from this encounter.

• Relax and accept his invitation to know him personally.

• Don’t assume societal or church traditions, including attire, are God’s choice for me.

God also planted additional foundational seeds of truth. Here are a few highlights.

• I learned his instructions are personal and not to assume those are his guidelines for everyone else. While he might tell me to wear shorts to church, he may ask someone else to wear a suit and tie. We are all in a process of growing our relationship with God and he will guide each individual in the journey.

• God asked me to give away my only suit, tie, belt, dress shirt, and shoes. Yes, he wanted me comfortable with him, even at church. However, he was also guiding me toward freedom from people-pleasing. I believed relationships teetered on how well I jumped through others’ hoops. Attempting to earn people’s acceptance and approval had deep roots. God knew I would face rejection from those who did not approve of my change in clothing choices. This started a long process of discovering my godly value and worth, which has no correlation to what anyone thinks of me. He showed me how to form and maintain godly relationships.

• Why the urgency to take the suit and accessories to a closed church? God was teaching me to obey his instructions, even when it made no logical sense. The outcome was up to God. I simply needed to follow him.

• Why did the conversations with God end and go silent? I believe he was seeing how I would react to his last instruction. There was nothing more for him to say. He communicated what he wanted me to do. It wasn’t until I obeyed him that he communicated again, through his unmistakable presence, peace, and joy.

• My new friend, Donna, and I had no romantic interest. Our focus was on a mutual hunger and pursuit of growing our relationship with God. Little did I know, a year later, she would become my beautiful bride. Lord, thank you for the gift of Donna!

• Lacking knowledge of church protocols, I replicated the attire, worship, and actions of other attendees. However, I never asked God for his input. That lesson showed me the value of asking God lots of questions. His flawless and unwavering answers always point me toward freedom.

Here are a few related Scriptures:

• 1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT), “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height … " "The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

• Psalm 37:23 (NLT), “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”

• Mark 4:24-25 (NLT), ”Then he added, “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given — and you will receive even more. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”