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Here a Wall There a Wall

God's Kindness Quest Series

I built walls around my heart

From behind them, I fear to depart

 

With each wound, I stacked brick upon brick

Constructed sturdy walls, tall and thick

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Bricks of pain, sorrow, and hurt 

Walls of self-protection, always on high alert

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Well protected, safe and sound

Isolated now, I can’t be found

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I yearn for love, yet I'm so lonely

My forced smile, phony

 

Genuine love I cannot receive

For love equals pain, I believe

 

What, oh what, am I to do

To receive love fresh and anew

 

Lord, I give you my broken heart

Asking you for a brand new start

 

Heal my heart as only you can

From the heartbreaking journey I've been

 

I fear it may be too late

Yet, I'm told your power is great

 

I am asking in Jesus' name

Make your heart and mine the same

 

Seeking help is humbling

I see the walls are crumbling

 

Lord, come and fill me with your love

Unconditional love from above

 

Receiving God's love, it's been a while

Finally, I genuinely smile

Interactive Questions

Jeremiah 33:3 (NIV), "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

  • What emotions, memories, thoughts, convictions, or inspirations bubbled up while reading the poem?

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  • Father God, what do you want me to know about my answers to the previous question? 

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  • Do you feel safe being totally honest, revealing the true you to others, including God? If not, why does it feel unsafe? 

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  • Do you want others to love you 100%, holding nothing back, yet you can’t seem to reciprocate? If so, what causes you to withhold love? 

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  • In the poem, the belief was Love = Pain. What is your belief?

    • Love = _____.

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  • What formed the root of that belief? Was it multiple encounters, or an isolated incident?  

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  • Have you built walls of self-protection around your heart? If so, ask the Lord to show you the answer to the following questions. 

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  • Lord, how thick are the walls?​

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  • Lord, is there a ceiling? 

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  • Lord, are there windows or doors and can they be opened?

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  • Lord, show me the label of each brick which makes up the walls?

    • Examples: pain, rejection, anger, betrayal, fear, sorrow, shame, abandonment, specific events in your life.​​

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  • Lord, what do you want me to know about my efforts to self-protect, the emotional pain I carry, and the walls around my heart?

    • Efforts to self-protect:​

    • Emotional pain: 

    • Walls:

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  • Lord, I want to receive and give love freely; yet, the fear of getting my heart shredded again prevents me from letting others close. How can I trust anyone with my fragile heart?

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  • Lord, show me any ways I am resistant to letting you come close and why? 

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  • Lord, how do I eliminate any walls which exist between you and me? 

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  • ​Father God, is there anything else you want to share with me at this moment?

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Prayer

James 5:16 (NLT),  "... The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.​"

Lord, when trust was broken and love was misrepresented, I began to close down my heart. I give you the pain, loneliness, broken trust, and the fear of being hurt again. 

 

Reveal to me the walls I constructed long ago and perhaps even forgot were there. Identify where I have become comfortable in a self-constructed prison. I now realize the walls kept people out and gave me a false sense of protection. I repent for self-protection and for shutting people out of my life. Although it feels vulnerable, I give you all the walls around my heart and choose to leave this self-imposed solitary confinement. Give me discernment in relationships, restoring trust and openness. 

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Lord, I give you the ungodly belief that Love = ______ (enter your answer from the exercise). I ask you to cleanse my heart and give me your definition of love. Lord, I accept your definition and ask you to toggle bolt it into the depths of my soul.

 

I choose to come out of hiding, to feel again, to live again. Teach me how to give and receive love, trusting you to protect my heart. Amen.

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  • Lord, what did this prayer activate in accordance with James 5:16?

 

  • ​Tweak the existing prayer as desired or craft a new personalized one.

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Scripture

2 Timothy 3:16 (NLT), "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true ..."

 Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT)

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."

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  • List meaningful Bible verses which come to mind regarding this poem, the interactive questions, and prayer.

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